Inspirational.

To achieve your dreams, remember yourABCs:




Avoid negative sources, people, things and habits.Believe in yourself. Consider things from every angle.Don’t give up and don’t give in. Enjoy life today: yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.Family and Friends are hidden treasures. Seek them and enjoy their riches. Give more than you planned to give. Hang on to your dreams. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Just do it! Keep on trying, no matter how hard it seems. It will get better. Love yourself first and foremost. Make it happen. Never lie, cheat, or steal. Always strike a fair deal. Open your eyes and see things as they really are. Practice makes perfect. Quitters never win and winners never quit. Read, study and learn about everything important in your life. Stop procrastinating. Take control of your own destiny. Understand yourself in order to better understand others. Visualize it. Want it more than anything. Xccelerate your efforts. You are unique of all of Nature’s creations. Nothing can replace you. Zero in on your target, and go for it!

This.

This quote described it perfectly. We texted yesterday, for a lil while. He told me he still loved me & he missed me. I missed him too, shit. I've been missing him. It's crazy because I feel like he's my soulmate. I found it weird how we came about ..so it almost seem like its meant to be.

Shit, maybe its not meant to be, as much as we fought too. I don't know. It's like he wants me to be like bugging him, he told me I could of called him ..im life come on now. I got to thinking if yu missed me so much why didnt he just call? he obviously doesnt miss me like he claims. As much as we use to talk on the phone too ..as much as he said he loved hearing my voice. It's bullshit.

I dont know at this point. I wish God gave me a sign to be honest with you. Because I still want to be with him, im just not sure if he still want me.

Back in the day..

I took these photos back in February. I loveed that shirt. I loved my hair back then too. LOL. I thought I was pretty. hm, I try not to even look in a mirror anymore. smh. & LOL @ me putting my tissue in my room and ironically how its in my photo. smh.

Back in my Myspace days..

                                                                                                      

Okay, so I went on my moms facebook and seen these photos. hm, these were back on my myspace days. LOL, it's crazy because I was addicted to facebook. The only reason I deleted it was because I found the guy I thought that I was going to be with for the rest of my life and why be on myspace reall? it was dead and I found Tumblr too. I lovee my lip ring in my second photo. It's insane because I sold my camera to my mom because I didnt want it anymore ..because I was off of myspace really. These are funny though.

It's like I cant win.

The phone thing: I went to Walmart and seen what they were offering, so I decided to wait until my 18th Birthday to get the phone. Tihs phone is a blackberry, im thinking its the 'bold' one.

The boy: I noticed a text, that he texted me on Wednesday ..saying he missed me. At this point, im thinking he wants me to be bugging him none stop and im not putting myself in that position. So fuck it.

My glasses: I went on a paid for my glasses, Dana brung them to me. They dont fit and they make me feel like a have a headache. being all blurry and what not. I'll be definitely causing hell tommorrow. On top of that I think they put the prescription on the wrong side or something.

My life outside of the materials: im fat, my weight will not stay down; I mean im not trying. my acne is like only getting worse. My fucking hair is falling out.

Changes im going to make as of Tommorrow:

• wash my face two times a day.
• sleeping witha rag.
• go back running.
• no fast food.
• no soda.

hopefully this work. I want to see some progress by next saturday.

[current song: Maguel - All I want is You]

BlackBerry.

So I get paid today, I laid in my bed ..my phone froze. Thats when I said 'I can see perfectly fine in these glasses, so im not going to my appointement tommorrow, instead im going to Metro PCS'. I feel like something is going to happen, hopefully it doesnt. Hopefully the phone is all I wanted ..because i've been disspointed these last couple of weeks. It's like everything has purposely not going my way.

I mean I know everything isnt suppose to be perfect, but damn can I get 4/10 please. So what im going to try to do is make alot of money for my birthday check, and use that money to try and get my glasses and laptop.

I also came to the conclusion Im not really going to wear my contacts daily, so im just going to keep the four pairs I had and just put them on when I wanna wearshades or something.

Today ..

I think I had the best day I've ever had at work. I think im starting to like Justin more and more. It's bad because I dont want to be a homewreck, but obviously Justin wouuldn't chose me over Jana. Shes so pretty though. I worked with Justin, Santos and Sam. Like after like 11 we all chilled while still on the clock.

Justin is flirtatious, I enjoy it though. Since he's white its like even more attractive<3 I found out Santos is a very horny/ nasty man. LOL. I can't lie though, I would def. hang out with all guys, of course I wont sleep with them. Im a virgin and im going to stay one.

as of tonight ... Justin ;)

Get Him To The Greek.

So I went to the cheap movies a couple of weeks ago with my cousin and we watched this. This movie was really good. I thought it could be a bit better because Jonah was on it. Still, it was worth 1.50. Russell Brand was pretty funny. I think the director picked the right people for a film like this. Kudos.

So that BlackBerry..

hm, seems like something always find its way to fuck up my plans. I went to the Eye Doctors today ..I paid like 150$ up front. Lady told me my full total for my glasses was 367$ ironically my phone that I wanted was 368$ ..I swear to God, shit like this is fucked up. I wanted my phone so bad. I dont even think my check will be more that 370$. So this suck major balls really. Then that's my mom's birthday.

It's like everytime I get so close ..it finds its way to slip away. My happiness is so far away I dont think im going to reach it for about another couple of years.

My weight is disgusting me, Im so fat. Its rediculous. My acne, my teeth, my lonliness ...im depressed deep down.

this beautiful phone... I cant even have.

The Truth.

So Today..

As I was staring outside the window waiting for the customer to give me their money..I came to the conclusion..im going to college, I mean I might just try online college for a while or just wait a couple months and go on campus. I cant do this. I hate seeing people I know come tm my job..it feels so awkward.

The money .. the 8.20 im making is not really good. I mean Im about to be 18 im not goin' out like that. I thought both my sisters took up the easy slots [one having the babies & the other going off to the Marines] So I'll be the one that goes to college. I've been thinking im going to work with children. I love kids, sometimes they arent the best.. but this is more in my alley. I'll feel happier working with children.

Then when he [Keith] finally texted me back, I just went on a deleted his number. Im so done with this bullshit. So whenever I get my new phone ..he will not know my new number and im content with that. Im just going to have to let go and let "the right one" find me.

Jersey Shore.

So im just like any American, I tune in to watch Jersey Shore. I absolutely lovee Pauly D & J Wow. Snookie & Angelina are just pure entertainment. Ronnie and Sammi, I thought they were perfect for each other last season. I think he's doing her so dirt this season, I really hope karma bitches his ass in the butt.

I love 'The Situation's terminology .."grenades" and "linebacker". I think that is so funny. I see Vinny is a sheep, he's following behind Micheal and Pauly D out there 'creeping'. All bullshit aside, I love Jersey Shore.. I'll watch them as long as they are still on t.v I think they beat out 'The Real World' honestly.

My Grandma ♥.

I never got the chance to actually meet my mom's mom. To see a picture of her was great because I never really knew what she looked like. After seeing the picture, she is beautiful. I really wish I would of got the chance to meet her. R.I.P Grandma.

Zac Efron ♥.

Okay so I think I actually start liking 'white guys' like in the 8th grade. I've grown very fond over Zac these last couple weeks. Seeing photos of him on Tumblr. It's like his rough edge is so cute. His facial features and im sure his personality is really good. He seems like a sweet heart too. So, Zac Efron, you are pronounced one of my crushes as of tonight &hearts;.

This is the hardest.

Knowing he doesnt want me anymore. I mean we made plans together for our future. It just sucks sitting back and having to take in the fact he actually doesnt want anything to do with me. When I txt him it feels like im bothering him of some sort. I just dont think i'll find somebody like him. I mean im only 17 ..im still young. The bad part about that is ..I only wanted him. I hate it because he said we're still friends ..but we NEVER talk.

I guess moving on is the only thing I can do at this point. I hate him so much ..for bringing these emotions out that I tried to supress. I guess this is life. Everyone needs a heartbreak .. I can say I definately got mine in the worst way.

Hm.

It's insane because I don't know wheather to be disgusted or dissapointed at myself for giving up my on myself when its time for my days off. It's like I do good all week, lose 3-4 lbs, then gain it right back because I dont go running nor do I eat healthy on my days off. Im 3 weeks way from my 18 birthday. My goal was 145 lbs. I made it to 151; then I got a day off and gained that shit right back.

I dont know what will motivate me to keep going. It's a shame because I actually want to lose this weight. I want to be happy and I feel losing weight will help be on that. This shouldnt be as hard as im making it out to be though. I think Im going to start fresh tommorrow. New fresh weight start and freshly back running 2a.m.

Kardashians♥.

Everyone should know im an avid lover of the Kardashians. Watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians faithly when it first started. Even while I realized it wasnt so real. I just loved them! All in defferent ways. Kim & Khloe because they love black men. Rob, because he's so fine. & Kourtney because she has that beautiful baby, Mason.

Their family relationships are pretty realistic though. I love how vulgar Khloe is, she reminds me of myself. She married to Lamar Odom too, that makes me like her 10x more than I did before. Anyways.. I love them!

Plans♥.

I got my priorities in check. As of today at this very moment..

1. New Cell Phone. -August.
2. Laptop. -September.
3. Glasses/ Contacts. -September.
4. Braces. -October.
5. Braids. -October.
6. Savings Account -November.
7. Dye hair -January/ February.
8. Wardrobe change - February.
9. Bed Set- February.

I should figure more out soon though.