This.

This quote described it perfectly. We texted yesterday, for a lil while. He told me he still loved me & he missed me. I missed him too, shit. I've been missing him. It's crazy because I feel like he's my soulmate. I found it weird how we came about ..so it almost seem like its meant to be.

Shit, maybe its not meant to be, as much as we fought too. I don't know. It's like he wants me to be like bugging him, he told me I could of called him ..im life come on now. I got to thinking if yu missed me so much why didnt he just call? he obviously doesnt miss me like he claims. As much as we use to talk on the phone too ..as much as he said he loved hearing my voice. It's bullshit.

I dont know at this point. I wish God gave me a sign to be honest with you. Because I still want to be with him, im just not sure if he still want me.

So that BlackBerry..

hm, seems like something always find its way to fuck up my plans. I went to the Eye Doctors today ..I paid like 150$ up front. Lady told me my full total for my glasses was 367$ ironically my phone that I wanted was 368$ ..I swear to God, shit like this is fucked up. I wanted my phone so bad. I dont even think my check will be more that 370$. So this suck major balls really. Then that's my mom's birthday.

It's like everytime I get so close ..it finds its way to slip away. My happiness is so far away I dont think im going to reach it for about another couple of years.

My weight is disgusting me, Im so fat. Its rediculous. My acne, my teeth, my lonliness ...im depressed deep down.

this beautiful phone... I cant even have.

This is the hardest.

Knowing he doesnt want me anymore. I mean we made plans together for our future. It just sucks sitting back and having to take in the fact he actually doesnt want anything to do with me. When I txt him it feels like im bothering him of some sort. I just dont think i'll find somebody like him. I mean im only 17 ..im still young. The bad part about that is ..I only wanted him. I hate it because he said we're still friends ..but we NEVER talk.

I guess moving on is the only thing I can do at this point. I hate him so much ..for bringing these emotions out that I tried to supress. I guess this is life. Everyone needs a heartbreak .. I can say I definately got mine in the worst way.